He doesn't actually know that for sure, and unless Juliett's been holding back on him neither does she. He still has no idea if she picked him because she loved him, or if it was something more likely like his connections or his money, or even less likely like his manner. Of the lot of them, he's always thought that the penultimate reason would be the easiest to hear. But there's no reason, and that's not the only thing he doesn't know. He doesn't know for sure why she killed Thomas, has never known whether he should mourn that loss or if the story she told him was true and he should have been angered that Thomas hadn't been who Athos thought he was.
Five years later and all he knows is that she died five years ago. People tell you how to finish the steps, move on from loss, move on past anger, move away from grief, move beyond the vengeance - there just isn't that much advice for getting around a life-changing unknown. At least, nothing that he's ever heard to help.
Nice of her to say it though. He's not sure how much of this he's ever actually told her, but it wouldn't necessarily surprise him no matter how much of it she knows despite that, whether it's effectively all or about the average for most people who were alive when it hit the dome's headlines. He doesn't respond - which is selfish, because she's having problems too, but he has no idea how to help her and he's not sure she wants it right now anyway, she already looks rough and exposed as it is. That's not going to stop him giving it once he figures out how to though. But for the moment he just keeps his breathing with hers, keeps as many of those doubts behind his expression and out of the air as he can. He's fairly good with masks, always has been, (which is probably why people tended to gravitate towards his younger brother) but right now he is compromised, much in the same way as her. She didn't have to run here though - his self-destruction takes a far less direct or isolated path. It wouldn't have been tonight, alone, for no reason. It would be later, in crisis, putting too much of himself into a purpose to possibly come back from it intact.
Athos' laugh is an exhalation of air, hollow in sound and all the more for the age of difference between what it is and what it should be and what it is for at this moment. "Would you like to let her know? Would yours just listen like that?"
i still read that as 'substitute prose' not 'surprise prose' even though it was a surprise to see it
Five years later and all he knows is that she died five years ago. People tell you how to finish the steps, move on from loss, move on past anger, move away from grief, move beyond the vengeance - there just isn't that much advice for getting around a life-changing unknown. At least, nothing that he's ever heard to help.
Nice of her to say it though. He's not sure how much of this he's ever actually told her, but it wouldn't necessarily surprise him no matter how much of it she knows despite that, whether it's effectively all or about the average for most people who were alive when it hit the dome's headlines. He doesn't respond - which is selfish, because she's having problems too, but he has no idea how to help her and he's not sure she wants it right now anyway, she already looks rough and exposed as it is. That's not going to stop him giving it once he figures out how to though. But for the moment he just keeps his breathing with hers, keeps as many of those doubts behind his expression and out of the air as he can. He's fairly good with masks, always has been, (which is probably why people tended to gravitate towards his younger brother) but right now he is compromised, much in the same way as her. She didn't have to run here though - his self-destruction takes a far less direct or isolated path. It wouldn't have been tonight, alone, for no reason. It would be later, in crisis, putting too much of himself into a purpose to possibly come back from it intact.
Athos' laugh is an exhalation of air, hollow in sound and all the more for the age of difference between what it is and what it should be and what it is for at this moment. "Would you like to let her know? Would yours just listen like that?"